Things I Would Buy with My GOP Tax Break If I Were a Small Brewery Owner

  • New hoses for everybody!
  • Primo healthcare plans (at least until the tax break expires in 2020)
  • Cellometer, so no one will ever have to count yeast again
  • Scissor lift, because you don’t know you need one until it’s taken away from you (alternatively, I would accept a hop torpedo)
  • Raises. Obvs.
  • BARRELS!!!
  • Company trip to the brewing centers of Europe; I’m thinking England, Belgium, and Germany.
  • Different glassware for every beer (which promptly causes the entire tastingĀ  room staff to quit on the spot)
  • Tile. Everywhere.
  • One word: SABCO

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